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Bea and Yoga New!
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Note: For travel stories written by court, go here.
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Note: Etymology of court by court: here.
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Note: How court met raquel: Cotopaxi
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Author:
(top) | Fred Sabb |
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I am so sorry about all that has happened, and everything that
we all are going through, but none more than the two families involved.
I am at a loss.
Try to find comfort in knowing how many lives were touched,
how many great friends are out there, and how his spirit will remain
among us. Know that you have all of our love.
I wish it could be more.
I want to begin my tribute to Court:
I have known him for almost 10years. From my first year at Carnegie-Mellon.
He is the person whose life I always bragged about to other people I knew.
His brilliance, his free-ness, his friendship. I cant tell you how many
people
I made jealous of his world-tours. He meant more to me than I knew. He will
always be with me, whether I am out in the world adventuring or geeking out
in front of computer....
All my love,
fred
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Author:
(top) | GIPY |
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To Court's family and friends:
Even though I didn't know Court, I had an idea from
all your emails that he was a great guy. I am very
sorry to hear the news and be sure that Court and you
all will be in my thoughts and prayers.
If you need me to do something here in Peru, please,
let me know.
Hugs,
GIPY
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Author:
(top) | Dane Lovejoy |
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To Lisa, Bea, George and everybody else:
How can I possibly write something here becoming of a man such as Court?
In truth, I feel a certain guilt writing ANYTHING at all, a guilt for even
acknowledging the sadness, pain, and outrage that we all now feel. This is
simply because sadness, pain, and outrage are three emotions with which
Court himself would never have associated. Ironic that under slightly
different circumstances he would have enjoyed discussing his captors'
political beliefs with them, not in an attempt to change them, but in an
attempt to UNDERSTAND them.... Such a great loss to all of us....
It is difficult not to eulogize right now, considering the pain and loss I
must share with all of you. But as the old cliche goes, a picture is worth
a thousand words, and in the attachment here I would like to share with you
all how *I* will remember Court. Court and I spent two weeks in Brazil
together (among numerous other trips and experiences we've shared) back in
1999, which is when this photo was taken. I will never, NEVER forget the
times we've shared, and will always love him as the dear brother and role
model that he was.
Much love to everybody,
Dane
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Author:
(top) | Seth Frank |
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Dear Beatrice, Lisa and Demas Family -
In this time of grief and sadness I extend my deepest condolences. Court has
been an inspiration and source of tremendous joy to me since the moment I met
him and this terrible news and senseless tragedy leaves me absolutely
devastated. Like so many people touched by his gentle spirit and inquisitive
mind I will be forever changed by my experience with such a profound soul. In
trying to come to grips with the sense of loss I am feeling I would like to try
to convey to you some of the memories and thoughts I have of a friend endowed
with an unbelievable capacity for love, an unconventional and amazing approach
to life, an unquentiable thirst to learn and a radiant presence that affected
all who came in touch with him. I share this with others because I feel that
the life of Court Demas needs to be celebrated and remembered and his virtues
shouted from rooftops.
With a story to tell, a laugh to share, and a beatific spirit I have found
myself remarking to people since the day I first came in contact with him,
"Court Demas is my hero". From that first time it was so abundantly clear that
he lived life on his terms and had more fun than anybody I knew. Constantly
exploring and seeking, asking and learning, befriending and giving with a love
and curiousity that knew no bounds.
I met Court at a Trilogy dinner when I approached him after a presentation he
had given on this research project he was working on (yes, somehow he managed
to be the sole memeber of what we called Trilogy Research and Development or
more affectionately Court's Lab). To me he seemed a mad scientist - brilliant
and eccentric and we instantly became good friends and soon shared a house
together. From late night cliff jumping escapades and all night raves to
endless discussions on life, travel, computing and anything else that caught
fire in his fertile mind he made me enjoy life and enjoy thinking.
His unselfish and giving behavior seemed to liven every moment. He would invite
friends over for dinner at the drop of a hat and then spend half the day
shopping for food and preparing an amazing meal. We spent one summer avoiding
work and waterskiing as much as possible and every time he showed up he had a
basket of fresh fruit and cheese and some new friend with whom he had only just met and was already giving everything of himself.
As he traveled around the globe with a restless energy to see and experience
everything I would find myself waiting impatiently for that next email to come
detailing some extravagent location visited or crazy adventure. When I visited
him in Prague last summer I was just amazed at how quickly he had assimilated
into the culture and made such a wide collection of friends. He had become
incredibly proficient in Czech and seemed to know people everywhere we went.
His tales of South America likewise filled me with wonder and awe and it was
with great anticipation I waited to see him if only for a brief moment before
he was off on another adventure.
I spent this past weekend becoming a master of the oragami crane and filling a
group of friend's heads with endless stories of Court. Some had met him before
and some hadn't but all readily jumped into the task of crane making. For if
anyone was able to imbue a sense of hope and possibility during a difficult
moment it was Court. With Court anything was possible and I was just waiting
for him to appear with his most wild tale yet.
I sit here now tears streaming down my face with a sad and heavy heart wishing
to see my friend just one more time to tell him how much I loved him and how
much he changed my life for the better. He will remain a special part of me as
long as I live and though I may not be able to share with him I must share with
you now; Court Demas is my hero - a beautiful spirit like no other.
Once again my deepest and sincerest condolences in this difficult moment. Court
shared his love with so many and it was always so clear how much love he felt
for his family. May that love be a source of strength to you now.
All my love,
Seth
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Author:
(top) | Trav |
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Hey All,
I remember a huge cranium covered with a brown bowl hair cut mounted
onto a skinny frame and deep dark brown eyes that were opened wider than the
Autumn sky. This guy was walking up to our rough and tumble group of young
jersey punks on the playground. We all looked around and decided the new guy
would get a stomping just like every other new second grade boy that moved to
our town. A rite of passage. School boy tricks. But it did not happen.
Court was a master of the monkey bars. He would whip side to side and
feign back and forth, taunting you with his momentum like a pendulum, back
and forth, luring you in, and then he would skillfully place, a good kick
into your wrists, that left you grabbing air and you would be on your ass in
the dirt four feet below him, dazed and confused and then you quickly ran
back onto the line at the ladder to have another go at him. This "new guy"
was good! It went on all day long until someone finally knock him down off
those bars around dusk.
It continued all year long. The monkey matches. I broke a wrist.
Another freind a split a lip. Sneaker prints on your cheek. A hard placed
knee below the belt. Every day we tried to get this new guy Court and it just
did not work. He would only fall at dusk, when it was time to go home and one
day I walked with him and we were talking about what young boys talk about
"Star Wars" and rockets and big sticks in the woods and smashing bottles on
the trolley path and running away from those "Teenagers" with long hair
listening to Black Sabbath that would chase us for no apparent reason. Out
hearts pumping and hiding in his room saying "What a close call that was."
And out comes the Chess Board and he taught me. Pull out the Dungeon's and
Dragon's and instantly we were in another world for hours until Bea would
come up and explain my mother has called seven times and that my dinner was
getting cold but we would roll the die and try to save the game. Riding
copilot with him as I looked over his shoulder and he was making his Texas
Instruments computer speak "HELLO LEEZA..." over and over again, at full
volume, until she would get so angry that she would spin the door knob until
it was jammed and we were locked in his room together for hours more. Which
was fine by us.......
There are so many stories......
Love
-Travis-
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Author:
(top) | Eric Peterson |
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.
Too many dinners favors gifts random adventures and
nightcaps to repay and far too many delicious conversations
to recount, I'm indebted impressed and imprinted. I had
resolved that the boy had been swallowed up by the hills
having egregiously exceeded his mortal allocation of worldly
enjoyment and wisdom. You must admit, it's not an unlikely
story.
..
Of course every now and again it was well what are you
reading these days? Author du jour something philosophical
or historical it twists my noodle a bit this direction you
know you should check it out. Ah but Court wants your worn
copy dogeared with the notes in the margin so he could
digest it with you. Two heads are after all better than one.
...
In the name of some technical mumbo jumbo I'm hastily
brushing up on I pick up a book penned by a former colleague
of ours on the topic and who's in the forward our lovely
Court, credited with teaching the author how to think about
things. Go figure.
.:
Tromping down off the blood red dunes lips abrased and
watermelon dripping from our chins I say, deserts,
splendorously beautiful but damned inhospitible in my
experience. What do you mean, he says, just beautiful.
:
So I sit and I cry selfishly and mournfully and stare at the
candle we've lit and dig through pictures, and my beloved
Jessie, more astute than I in these matters says, I hope the
universe appreciates what it's gotten back...
---------------------------
I take a great deal of solace in knowing that many of you
share these memories [or some very similar], and that they
are very much alive, and very much a part of us. It's no
substitute, but then again it's nothing to balk at. -E.
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Author:
(top) | Bryan Appleton |
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My heart goes out to all those who knew Court, especially his family and close
friends.
Court Demas has been and will continue to be a profound source of inspiration to me. I have only known Court for a few years and in that short time he has made a significant impact on my thinking and behavior in life. I can only wish to be more like him in everyway.
He is awesome, a wellspring of human potential and happiness.
I'm going to miss him greatly.
~Bryan Appleton
I would also like to thank all his family and friends for letting me know Court
better through sharing stories and e-mails.
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Author:
(top) | Gabe Bevilacqua |
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I'd like to echo what others have written and add that I have no way to
understand the grief that the families must be feeling right now. Court was
a generous, kind, remarkable person, with a circle of friends that stretched
around the world, and a compelling claim to the title of Coolest Person
You'll Ever Meet.
This is my Court story:
In April of 1999, I was dispatched by my then-employer from Austin to San
Francisco for a few days for a nameless/faceless trade show, which happened
to fall on my birthday. After a long day spent trolling the show floor
followed by an even longer evening at an intimate thousand-stranger,
rubber-chicken dinner, I was fairly sure this was to be an all-time birthday
low. I had made rough plans to see Court while I was in town, and called
him following the dinner. Court had hosted a dinner party that evening, and
invited me for dessert. When I arrived, Court's apartment was, per lo
usual, peopled by friendly strangers. I didn't know anyone, but it didn't
really matter - everyone was a friend of Court, and friends of Court tended
to get along.
After a few minutes of introductions, Court emerged from his kitchen with a
chocolate cake topped by a set of candles. Interesting, I thought, someone
has the same birthday as I do. It took a cartoonish pause and a glance
around the room for me to realize that the cake was actually for me. I
don't think I had made more than a passing reference to my birthday to
Court, yet here he was, with a cake and a roomful of strangers singing Happy
Birthday. I was floored, and I was flattered, and I couldn't get over what
a perfectly thoughtful thing that cake was - so unexpected, so unnecessary
(I was happy just to be among friendly faces), and yet so appreciated. It
was precisely the sort of kindness that seemed to come so easily to Court,
and it's the part of Court I always admired most.
I always counted myself lucky to have met Court Demas.
Gabe Bevilacqua
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Author:
(top) | Chris Paul |
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I met Court soon after arriving in Austin for my time at Trilogy. It was a
pretty intimidating
place at first, but because of Court I met the people who made it all
worthwhile. When we all
left the company and spread out across the US, I'd always tell people how great
it was to know
cool people in most of the big cities in the country. I think I was really just saying that it's
great to get together at Court's place in San Francisco.
Furthermore, I directed everyone else I knew to Court's place in San Francisco because everybody
can always use another phenomenal friend in their lives. "You'll dig him. He's
cooler than
anybody, happy, friendly, and, above all, generous." I swear that every
introduction led to
another regular up on Twin Peaks/Sky Lounge. We crossed all state and county
lines. And Court
was the center of it all - the hero of every story, and the soul of so many
adventures.
I don't mind repeating what others have said because it makes perfect sense to
re-echo our love
for Court. And he'll live in every one of us so long as we're trying to act a
little more like
him. Give of yourself, live passionately, and bring people together. The world is so much better
that way. And he taught me that.
Thanks, Court. You're always with me.
Chris Paul
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Author:
(top) | Various |
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Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
WH Auden
"I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they
are looking for the experience of being alive."
Joseph Campbell
"Just be brilliant"
JM
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Author:
(top) | George Habrecht |
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I was completely flabbergasted to find out about what happened to Court in Peru. My heart and prayers go out to his family and the Paredes family.
Although Court and I lost contact, each of us going our separate ways after high school, I have very fond memories of spending time with him. Whether it was
playing around on the computer, performing in band, playing on the Ramsey High
School Chess Team, playing Dungeons & Dragons, or just walking to school, Court always seemed to promote a certain air; The type of carefree nature that can
only come with high intelligence.
Court sparked my interest in computers. In a sense I owe him thanks for the
career I have today.
Some of my most fond memories with Court:
a.. Eating jalapeno peppers and strawberries until we both felt ill
b.. Walking to school playing chess on the way, without a board
c.. Court mooning Mr. Young at band camp on our junior year (turned out to be his senior year, who knew!)
d.. Court trying to memorize as many digits of Pi as he possibly could (never know what number of digits he settled at...)
e.. Being turned onto great books, such as Chaos (J. Gleick) and A Brief History of Time (S. Hawkings) after Court had read them
Court was always somebody I thought of as not only being one of my more
intelligent acquaintances, but one of the most balanced ones too.
His potential not being realized is a loss for us all!
George Habrecht
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Author:
(top) | Patricia Murillo |
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Although i never met you I am deeply sad for what happened to you. I hope you
are in Heaven where all the love of your friends and family can each you and far away from those who did so much harm to you.
God bless you
Patricia
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Author:
(top) | Dan Fiedler |
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It's been more than 10 years since I've seen Court. This is not the way I
expected to hear from him again. His life lost in Peru, on a hillside. I
look at these photos and I'm reminded of the boy I once knew. How we have
changed over the years, Court, but how similar we remain. Early memories of
Ramsey, a train set in your basement, playing soccer, Boy Scout camp, your
Texas Instrument computer. We were kids once, and we were best friends
celebrating our birthdays together. Then we became teenagers and you were
off, you to your life and me to mine, to explore the world. The years
stretched and we grew older. I read of you living in Prague, learning Czech.
I see a picture from Namibia, the sunlight falling on the desert dunes. I
listen to your friends from San Francisco, and see your hair growing longer.
What turns your life took. You should be turning 30, how old that must have
seemed to us as kids. Back there on Spruce Street, in the woods near your
home, in that vast forest that sparked our imagination, wandering along
those trails, whether on dirt bikes or just walking, could we have seen this
future? Could anyone? You are still traveling. Laughing. Ahead of us, along
the road. Take care, my friend. You are not alone.
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Author:
(top) | Chris Janks |
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I met Court back in his pirate days...or at least he wore an eye patch,
and we swung aluminum bats for the first time at Mr. Goldstein's crappy
batting practice for THE WOLVERINES!!!! We were 7years old, and we wanted to
hit the ball so bad, but the truth was that we both sucked so bad that we
ended up laughing our asses off (as small as they were back then) at each
other for the entire practice.
That was the first time Court put life in perspective for me.
We were brothers on a mission(or disciplinary problems) in what would
have been the most painfully boring week of our 14th summer.....BAND CAMP,
yuk! Hey, but leave it to Court to stock up on contraband items such as, a
dozen cans of shaving cream, balloons, JOLT soda, and a duffle bag filled
with sour apple Jolly Ranchers. Of course we drank all of the Jolt the
afternoon we arrived, danced like fools in the rain to "Spirits in the
Material World" by the Police in our florescent orange ponchos, and then
proceeded to systematically fill all the balloons with shaving cream and
water and bombard the kiss-up band sheep who made fun of our dance moves.
We were soon rewarded with the position "litter patrol" for the rest of the
week.
What's the moral of the story? There is none, but we had more fun in one
afternoon than anyone had all week.
Two years later he mooned the band leader (thanks George, for reminding me).
In April of '97, I was leaving San Francisco with all my possessions in
my little truck headed east. I made it as far as Sheffield, in western
Texas, when I hydroplaned and flipped my truck four times, spraying my stuff
all over the interstate. I walked away with only a scratch on my foot. I was picked up by my pals, Josh and Laura, and was driven to Austin to lick
my emotional wounds, with the help of Court. He was working for/with
Trilogy and he explained all of his fascinating ideas he had been working
on, as well as the atkins diet, and his debate over buying a large green
convertible Ford LTD. He kept me surprisingly upbeat with his insightful
take on my problems, and convinced me to stay for a while. I stayed for
three weeks. Court bought the Convertible and we cruised around and had
many adventures. He encouraged me to follow my heart, and besides, now that
I trashed all my stuff, I could travel light. I never got depressed over my
wreck because Court allowed be to see the benefits of the situation.
Court has been and will always be my guide for self improvement and an ever
expanding creative outlook on LIVING life. I miss you so much, Court.
My heart goes out to Bea, Dan, Lisa, Jason, George and all of the Demas family.
Chris Janks
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Author:
(top) | Erin Bohensky |
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Court was my first boyfriend. For some time, we uneventfully passed each other
in the halls of Ramsey High School. I knew who he was - the guy with the
computer - though I'm not sure if the reverse was true. And then one October
night in 1989 when Joanna Catalano's parents went away and a wild party quickly
got underway, Court and I fatefully strolled up to her house at exactly the
same moment, exchanged mysterious stares for several long seconds, talked the
whole night, and nothing was ever the same again - at least in the slim band
allocated to high school on the geologic time scale.
Though I was a year ahead in school and six months older, I was not Court's
first girlfriend. This was fortunate, since at that time I was clueless about
love and relationships that did not involve a rock star immortalized in a
poster on my wall. But Court shined the way, made the phone calls, rang the
doorbell, wrote the letters, sent the flowers and computer parts. He won me
over.
He was like no one else. He thought differently. He thought about everything.
The ratio of consonants to vowels in the word 'strength' (7:1). The life and
times of the inventor of Pi. The deeper meaning of the lyrics to "Rikki Don't
Lose That Number." His concerns weren't the ones that normally manifest
themselves in the consciousness of high school kids, and after a while, neither were mine.
But the next fall I was off to college several states away. We kept in touch for a few years,
and then slowly our communications dried up. As the years passed I wondered
where Court was and what he was doing, with only sporadic bits of
information from mutual friends to draw together into some coherent mental
image. I thought about trying to contact him, but with each passing month and
year the prospect seemed more intimidating - where would we begin?
Toward the end of 2000, Joanna again stepped in and gave fate a nudge, this
time by dialling Court's phone number - just for kicks - and leaving a message
"from Erin and I." When Court and I eventually spoke, we were both so overwhelmed
that when we hung up we immediately and simultaneously dashed to our computers
to express, by e-mail, how strange it was to speak on the phone after seven
years. After that a lively e-mail dialogue sprang up in which we discovered
that we had several things in common, most notably that we were homeless,
jobless, on the verge of moving indefinitely to another continent, and had a
love for travel to distant places. Then Court had an idea: "I was thinking of
exchanging several possible scenarios of what the past years have been like
for us - and then we'd try to guess at which one was true." Suffice to say, we
played several rounds of this game (i.e. 'True/False: I have a pending
teledildonics patent') and guessed mostly wrong. For my part I think I read
into his scenarios too much.
We saw each other twice during that winter in New York. We talked about our
travels, Africa, our families, America, our work, the problems of the world.
We connected in that brief space of time, and to me this attested to the sincerity
of the bond we had formed so many years before. Court went to the Czech
Republic, I to South Africa. In his e-mails from Prague he described studying
Czech, getting to know the culture, trying not to be too obviously American
for fear of stigmatization. Later he considered going to Nigeria, but nixed it
when he did some research and learned that it scored high for robberies and street
crime. Instead he was going to Venezuela. Once there he sent a glowing report
of scenic mountain beauty, friendly people, and his efforts to learn Spanish.
That's the last e-mail I have from him.
There is so much to say, and there is nothing to say. We can protest that it
shouldn't have happened to him, to someone so aware and careful about where he
tread. But it always happens to the adventurers, the explorers, the ones who
dare to trade in the safety of their comfort zones for an understanding of what
the bigger, wider world is all about. Like most things, this one isn't fair.
I am sad, of course, but knowing Court, it's not hard to believe that he's just
chasing down his next adventure, another journey, a new day - while here in
this world, so many lives have been touched.
With deep sympathy and love to the families and friends,
Erin Bohensky
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Author:
(top) | Corinne Demas |
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September 14, 2002
I'm Corinne Demas.
My father, Nicholas, and Court's grandfather, George, were brothers.
I've had the wonderful good fortune to be Court's Aunt Cory.
I've loved Court for his whole life. I've watched him grow from a cherubic bambino to a delightful kid to a young man, whom I admired:
a man of great principle, integrity, intellect
a man of sweetness, imagination, and joy.
As I went through our photo albums, every picture of Court expanded into a remembered scene--
Court, big brown eyes aglow, listening to me tell a goodnight story -- even as a little boy he was a remarkable listener,
Court, Lisa, Austin, Christopher and Sarah sticking their heads through the playhouse window, Court, grinning, holding his fingers up for rabbit ears over Lisa's head.
Court on the lawn at Mt Kisco, running through the sprinkler with Austin, laughing, tossing water balloons into the sunshine.
Court and Lisa in their backyard with Temi, when she was a toddler, Court taking Temi's doll by its hands and dancing it across the grass to amuse her.
Court coming up to Amherst with his grandmother, Bert, to visit Uncle Nick, who was dying of cancer, Court telling my father jokes--some of them passed on by JG, them laughing together.
That visit from Court, in December 1996, was memorable for me. Court was about to embark on a new venture in his life-- heading off to Austin, Texas, to bring his extraordinary talents to a computer company at an extraordinary salary for a guy his age. We sat on the sofa, watching the embers in the wood stove, night enveloping the sleeping house, and talked about Court's glittering future.
I expressed my concern that he not be trapped by the material rewards of his profession, and he promised me that he was going to try to do something good and wonderful with his life.
I've watched that promise unfold over the past six years -- followed Court's true career of choice--as an ambassador to the world.
When I was thinking about what I wanted to say about Court, a book written five centuries ago by an Italian named Castiglione and called, appropriately, The Book of the Courtier, kept coming back to mind. In this work, Castiglione set out to define the qualities that made a perfect courtier--or gentleman--of the time. The ideal courtier was what we think of as a Renaissance Man --and taking into account some of the differences between the 16th century and today--it struck me as remarkable portrait of Court.
This ideal courtier must be skilled and learned in many fields-- a diplomat, an athlete, artist, man of letters.
He must be high-minded as well as broad-minded.
He must be gentle, sensitive and tactful.
He should show "a special sweetness and such gracious manners that no one who speaks with him or even sees him can do others than feel an enduring affection for him."
"Endowed by nature not only with talent and with beauty of countenance and person, but with that certain grace which we call an 'air' which shall make him at first sight pleasing and lovable to all who see him."
He must be able to write and speak well, but, above all, Castiglione argued, the perfect courtier avoids "affectation in every way possible" and practices, --and here Castiglione coined a term "sprezzatura" -- the appearance of effortlessness or nonchalance-- or what we might call, "cool."
Court was the perfect Courtier-- but unlike Elizabethans who studied Castiglione, Court came to this naturally--and with modesty and humor.
Like the true Renaissance man, Court was both versatile and complex.
Once you knew him, what seemed like contradictions about him, were not contradictions at all. I'll speak to two of them.
Contradiction Number One:
In his professional life, Court dealt in a region that I can't even comprehend. The achievements on his resume seem to me like they're in a mysterious language "designed and implemented a realtime, browser-based, reverse auction system" --and indeed they are--languages like Java, Perl, Bourne Shell, Scheme, and Lisp.
Yet brilliant as he was in computing skills, Court had a marvelous facility with the language of my realm--
when he talked, he sparkled, when he wrote, his narratives were not just accessible, they were charming. Even his email was vibrant with his personality.
He told me he wanted to be a writer, but as any of you who've read his wonderful sketches from Venezuela know, in fact he already was one.
Contradiction Number Two:
Court traveled the world over, and often lived far away, but he was deeply rooted in home.
But this is really not a contradiction--for it was the support he got from home, that enabled Court to seize his dreams, rather than try to stifle them. Empowered by love from family, he was able to fully experience the joys of independence.
He traveled not because he wanted to get away from something, but because he wanted to get to something. He embraced the world--
He wasn't a tourist who passed through places, but a real citizen, winning the respect and affections of people in every community where he stopped.
Court didn't just pass through the world, he moved into it consciously and conscientiously, his senses fully engaged. He savored it all.
And it's here, from this thought, that I go now, for comfort.
For I realize that time is always subjective--that the hours that we accumulate in an ordinary day, hours where we are just going about our usual activities, absorbed in the business of our lives--are essentially very different from those rare hours that are imbued with awareness and magic and meaning. A numerical tally of time is arbitrary. Court's hours were dense and rich and radiant.
I will love Court always.
His smile will warm me. His joyfulness will inspire me.
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Author:
(top) | Sarah Lammert |
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Memorial Service for Court Demas: A LIFE WELL LIVED
Unitarian Society of Ridgewood, September 14, 2002
Opening Music
Opening Words
Hello and welcome.
We are gathered today, as the friends and family of Court Demas to celebrate his life and to mourn his death.
I'd like to begin my remarks with two selections from Kahlil Gibran; the first "On Death", and the second, "On Joy and Sorrow":
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-blind eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of the light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt in the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy
.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
It is a difficult day; a difficult occasion.
Death is never an easy guest, but when two young lives are cut short in an act of senseless violence, it leaves those who love them cut adrift in a sea of anger and pain.
Court was a light; if I have learned anything in reading your letters and in hearing your stories about him, it is that Court LIVED life.
He lit up life. He touched those around him with his passion for life. And he risked living in such a way that he could remain an adventurer.
He soaked in beauty; he was truly kind; and while his feet were definitely on the ground, his spirit was free.
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay
These words from Edna St. Vincent Millay echo my own thoughts about Court's death.
We know he is gone.
But we do not approve, and we are not resigned.
In the wake of such a death, it is normal and natural that we feel all sorts of emotions: anger, even rage, sadness, numbness, emptiness, and anxiety. It is even normal to feel moments of giddiness or joy as we remember his life. Perhaps here and there, we even sense a peace beyond the storm.
As I spoke with Court's family, I was strongly reminded of a good friend of my own from college who died just after her graduation in a mountain climbing accident.
I remember feeling afterwards a host of things, but at some level as I've thought about her death over the last 16 years now I've come to believe that Abbey was actually a fulfilled person; that she just didn't need any more years of living to learn any spiritual lessons. Somehow I see Court in this same light; maybe, just maybe, 29 years was enough life for this extraordinary person.
This doesn't mean that I believe Court's death was a part of some kind of higher plan: life just doesn't appear to me to be that neat and arranged.
But given the fact of his death, perhaps it makes sense that Court was already in touch with the greater unity that I believe to be out there beyond the horizons of death and life as we see them.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
We gather here today, in love, holding one another up through our terrible grief.
Love is powerful enough to bridge all losses
In our darkest moments it is love that holds the lamp back to living.
May we be for one another, that strength and that light.
I close with another selection from Kahlil Gibran: this time from his reading "On Children". This is especially for you, Bea, and you, George, and you, Dan:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls.
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
Your may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backwards nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Blessed Be.
Music
Reflections on Court's Life
Song: For the Beauty of the Earth
Tributes (open sharing of stories and remembrances)
Music
Closing
Pearl S. Buck wrote some appropriate word to share as we close our service today:
To die a little later or a little sooner does not matter.
But to live bravely, to love life, to see how beautiful the trees are and the mountains, yes, and even the sea; to enjoy work because it produces food for life we love life because we live in danger.
We do not fear death because we understand that life and death are necessary to each other.
As we go, may the peace that passes all understanding be with us, now and forever. May it be so.
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Author:
(top) | Geoff Welch |
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The first time I hiked in the Ramapo Mountains, shortly after moving here in
1981, was with my best friend George Demas and his children Lisa and Court. We
climbed Torne Mountain and marveled at the views including, in the valley
below, Torne Brook Farm, which George purchased a year before. Court was about
eight and a very nice untroubled kid, with a frequent grin, smart but quiet and
gentle. He retained those qualities - rare in these troubled times - as he grew
up to be a very talented young man. I saw him only occasionally, as he was
leading a marvelous life of trekking and adventure, but he always had the same
quick smile of greeting and an engaging, sometimes philosophical, question to
ask or a good tale to tell. It seemed that Court was not just experiencing
adventures but was on something of a spiritual quest.
Now he has been taken from us in the spectacular mountain scenery of the
Andes, not by nature but by a cruel, unprovoked act of man. What wisdom or
stories Court might have brought back from the mountains, we will now never
know. But I sense that he had reached an understanding and gentle balance with
life and the world that few achieve.
In a beautiful show of Hudson River School art called American Sublime,
which I saw recently, there is a moving painting of Torne Mountain by Cropsey
in the first gallery and near the end of the exhibit two magnificent paintings
of the Andes by Frederic Church. So too with Court, from the Ramapos to the
Andes, the arc of his splendid young life went from mountain to mountain.
Geoff Welch
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Author:
(top) | Denis Zimmerman |
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Court was the kind of person that couldn't be classified as "a kind of
person". His was a unique spirit - a force of wonder in the universe, at
once both indefinable and undeniable.
Court and I didn't spend countless hours together, or share dozens of
experiences that would seem immediately meaningful on paper. But in spite of
this he had a way of making you feel special, like you mattered, and
whenever he was around life smelled a little sweeter and the air felt a
little lighter. So I guess we had a kind of silent understanding, a special
connection.
We were friends.
But we all had our own silent understanding with Court, didn't we? His heart
was so big he could give each of us a little unique piece of it without ever
running out or having to double up. It didn't seem to matter how long he
knew you or who you were with. He love was vast and it was open.
Court is hope, and hope cannot be undone. We are all changed forever.
Love,
Denis
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Author:
(top) | Michelle |
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Dear family and friends of Court,
Deep breath. I still feel like I stepped into a nightmare that I can't shake
myself awake from. I learned of the tragedy only recently. My heart goes
out to Court's family and close friends. Losing Court is one of the hardest
things I have ever had to encounter in my life.
The last time I saw Court was in Sept. 2001 at Burning Man. It was the wee
hours of the morning and I was standing at the end of the Magic Glasses
tunnel, which was my theme camp that year. Court had rode up and was looking
for someone from the camp, so that he could give us a gift. An orgasmatron.
As he described to me later, he saw this really, really cute girl, me, but I
had my back to him. So, he decided to approach her to see if she was part of
this theme camp and I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see who
it was and was more than pleasantly surprised to see Court. OH MY
GOODNESS!!! The look of surprise on both of our faces was priceless as we
stood face to face. Big hugs and kisses. I was sooo happy to see him. I
had not seen him since he had moved away from San Francisco almost a year
prior. We chatted for a bit and caught up on what the two of us had been
doing since we had last talked to each other. We talked about how we were
randomly in Berlin on the very same weekend earlier that year, but
unfortunately did not run into each other. I told him about my trips from the
year and my upcoming trip to Ireland. After catching up, we said our
goodbyes. I was beaming with excitement and happiness, as I watched him ride
off through a dusty fog into the impending sunrise.
We kept in touch via email as we traded our travel stories. He wrote me
about South America. I wrote him about Southeast Asia where I spent half of
2002. I was ecstatic to find out that we had both planned to volunteer at
Burning Man 2002 and would be there early. I waited all year to see him
there. He never came.
Court was the type of person people could only aspire to be. He had the guts
to live the life he wanted, the way he wanted to live it. I always admired
him for his ability to drop into any country, take on and conquer the native
language and to become part of the place he was in. I admired his
generosity, his kindness, and his ability to make you feel like the most
special person on earth. He had such an amazing spirit. He made things
happen in his life. I thank him for the being the great person he was and
recognize what a huge loss he is to this world. I will always treasure my
memories of him.
Court, I love you! Con todo mi corazon! And, I miss you!
Love always,
Michelle
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Author:
(top) | Gerber Condor V. |
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My name is Gerber Condor V. I was the official in charge of the
investigation of the deeds which occured in the mountain range of Huayhuash.
My work consisted of the investigation, search of proof, and location of the
missing persons and capture of the culprits.
I organized intelligence work together with the population of Huayapa and
directed the group until the culprits were found.
We succeeded in our intentions as police people, but all this is nothing
compared to the immense pain which today is brought to you and your
honorable family.
I understand that the loss of a son is irreparable. I have a son who was
almost lost.
My wife, my son, and I form a family which values life, the hope of a better
tomorrow and the wish for a world in peace, without hatred nor violence.
This is why I am a policeman.
From here my words, which represent my family as a whole, go forth to show
you my solidarity in the face of your sorrow, and my indignation in the face
of a deed which insults the image of my country to the outside world.
I want to believe that the force of spirit and will which gives dignity to
an honorable life of a father of a family will always be maintained on the
highest level. You have come to Peru showing complete availability and
cooperation. On our part, we fulfilled our duty thanks to your help and
anonymous persons who helped.
I am saying goodbye with the consideration that you think of me not as a
policeman but as a person who accompanies you in the pain a father feels and
one who extends his friendship. Please extend my condolences to your wife,
your family, and your loved ones.
With esteem,
Gerber Condor V.
PS: I wish to admit that this letter was written several days ago, but
ethical reasons and institutional commitments delayed my sending it.
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Author:
(top) | Lada Spark/Jiskrova |
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To Court's family and all his friends all around the world,
I've met Court at 13 of January 2001 in Prague/Czech Republic. That was
Saturday night and I was dancing in a club with couple of my friends and then
I looked around and felt that peaceful & strong spirit from this man who were
staying on the other side of the room, holding his big-heavy long winter coat
and smiling with the hat on his head.. I had to go to him and talk to him! I
asked him if I can help him with his coat, he says that the cloakroom is
full, no more coats and jacket wasn't taken from anybody. I said: Well, you
can save your coat on my coat, they'll take it and they did. So I and Court
could start to dance together. I've never sowed a man dancing like Court, so
unique and well balanced body. We were dancing, smiling and all that time I
could feel his beautiful spirit. I asked him couple questions, so I knew that
he just came to Prague a week or two ago and he is going to stay for 3 month.
When the party finished about 6am me and my boyfriend said Court that we can
take him back to his hostel, he agreed and set with us in a car. On the way
back I asked Court if he would interest in to go live with us, because me and
my roommate we were just looking for the other roommate to our big mezonet
house. So we make an appointment for the other day by my favorite Prague
Church at "Namesti Miru" [ the square of the Peace it's called ] Court was
there on time, we took a tram and went to show him our house. When he sows
it, he immediately loved it and he moved the other day "Monday". Me and my
roommate we right away felt comfortable to have an American roommate for
couple month because we felt that beautiful spirit what he carries with him
all the time!! Court started to live with us, Court started study Czech
language what he were studying really hard, 3 hours everyday, I was so much
amazed from him how he really decided to go for it and speak Czech and month
later we all were sitting in our living-room and talk Czech. These evenings
were for me so beautiful repletion of time with Court, sitting in our living
room and talk Czech. I loved to talk Czech with Court!!! He was amazing how
fast he was able to talk and how hard he studies for it. We all were very
happy have such a beautiful spiritual roommate and good friend from New
Jersey. We honored him very much and always we were happy to help him correct
his Czech plus he were always helping me correct my English which is still
not so perfect, please sorry to everybody for my mistakes and I hope you will
all understand what I mean. When Court's Czech language were going deeper and
deeper in his mind we felt that the best way how to understand more Czech
culture [ what Court wanted very much] is start to read Czech children's
books. We have one famous Czech writer who wrote just children's books and
every Czech person knows them very well. If you will understand them you will
understand Czech culture and how Czech people thinking. So I took Court to a
bookstore to buy this book " POVIDANI O PEJSKOVI A KOCICCE" - KAREL CAPER [
STORIES ABOUT A DOG AND A CAT ] and then Court was reading them to me and
explaining how he understand them. He could read them in Czech very well and
fluently and exactly understand all of it. That was so amazing for me!!!!!! I
will never forget this!!!!!!!!!!!
Once I left from Prague to my hometown Karvina for a weekend, what is 360km
away from Prague and 5 hours by car. I got in a bad car accident and was in
hospital for 3 weeks. And Court were calling me almost every day to a
hospital, making sure that I'm feeling good and he almost set on a train to
visit me. It was so nice to know that this beautiful person care about
everybody and not only about himself. Court brought such a big warm light in
my life full of repletion with such wisdom, love and peace. Being able to
deal with everything and still have stamina to a good life. This person had
such a big enrichment for everybody and we all could see how flouring and
happy he was on his path of life, so we all received from him this strength
to be that way too. Be a good person, following our heart and makes everybody
happy!!!!!
After 3 month Court decided to stay the other free month, we were so
happy to hear it from him. In May I moved from them lived with my good friend
from high school so my room was empty. Kacenka [ Katherine} started to live
with them, she wasn't speak English at all. Court and her felled in love
together and enjoy their time. I was very happy for them. He speaks to her
only Czech no English, but in that time Court's Czech was very very good, he
was able to say everything what he wanted!!!!
3 of June I wanted to take Court in a concert of my famous Czech singer,
her name is Iva Bitova and she is a gypsy woman with awesome voice. I know
that Court will understand everything what she will sing and he did. We had
such a nice time, dancing, drinking Czech beer and smiling by Czech music.
In the middle on May came to Prague two of Court's friends, Shraff and
Seth. It was very nice having around Court's friends and seeing them enjoy
their time in Prague with Court. We knew that Shraff is Djing, so we make our
own party in that mezonet house and Shraff was playing for us and gave all of
us his CD which we really like and still listening them. Court took care of
that party very nice, food, drinks, joints, smile and fun. All Court's Czech
friends came and I remember that Shraff and Seth were so amazed how many
friends Court made. He had lots of friends and some new Czech friends Court
introduced to me, so much fun. Everybody was very happy!!!
June past July and Court's arrival was coming closer and closer. We all
try to make Court stay but he was talking about " Burning man", he can't miss
it. He was talking about his family, about his friends in San Francisko and
we all knew that is his time to leave Czech Republic although we all wish him
to stay. He was saying me that if one day I'll come to SF, I'll meet all his
friends and I should see Burning man. He was saying: you will love San
Francisko, people there are like in Prague, you will love it and enjoy it,
you have to go one day!!!! And I agreed with him and promised that one day, I
will do it.
The last Court's weekend in Prague, Court wanted to take me and Kacenka
for a dinner. Court gave me the address of the restaurant and the time to be
there. The restaurant called " Maly Budha" [ little Budha ] . I was again
amazed how Court could find such a nice restaurant with delicious food where
I've never been before and I lived in Prague 3 years already. He had always
beautiful sense of nice places.
Court's arrival came at 13 of August at 7am. I wanted to take Court in
the airport, so he doesn't have to take taxi and leave by himself. He agreed.
So I picked him up in his house at 4am and we smoked our last joint together,
set in a car and with a peaceful silence leaving the beautiful morning Prague
knowing that our memories will stay in our heart forever. We talked in Czech
and I still couldn't believe that he is really leaving. I parked the car and
went with him in side where I told him how much I am happy that I have met
him and how much he filled my heart with all good and I became a better
person that I will never forget about him and probably we will see each other
some day in San Francisco.
Court was gone and we still kept emailing each other. Then some of Court's
friends visited Prague and I was very happy to hang out with them.
First I met Kira Denisson, Alex Lustberg and then Dan Hruby. All of them are
very nice people with such a nice energy as Court. And then something very
strong and spiritual between me and Dan happened. I took Dan for dinner in
that restaurant " Maly Budha", becaue I was there with Court and Dano is
Court's friend.
12 of November I came to America. I was in LA and San Diego and then I
came to San Francisko where I felled in love with Dano. I am still here,
meeting more and more Court's friends and I am much more in love with Dano!!!
I sit here now tears streaming down my face with a sad and heavy heart
wishing to see my friend just one more time to tell him how much I am happy
to be with Dano that it couldn't never ever happened if I would met him. So
beautiful connection, so beautiful feelings, being here and still feel
Court's spirit around! I am sure that how Court left all off us, it wasn't
his Karma and I'm sure that he is seeing us all right now and he will come
back to finish his path of his life. And I believe that we all will meet him
again in our future life.
With all my love to Court and his family and friends
Lada
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Author:
(top) | Alanna Mason |
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I have been checking Court's website constantly, reading every story to try to learn more about this wonderful person. When I found out what had happened, I was so angry. Of all the people in the world, why him?
I met Court in Cuzco, Peru. I had signed up to do the Inca Trail and he happened to be with the same group. Happened doesn't seem to be the right word. Two friends that he had met in Ecuador were going to be with the same group. Our fourth, a German, wasn't going to make it and our trip was going to be cancelled. They ran into Court on the street after this news and suggested that he come with us. They had no idea he was in Cuzco, he just happened to be at the right place, at the right time. He went to the office just before it closed....and was now our German counterpart.
Long story short, we spent a lot of time together through the trek and exploring Machu Picchu. He described Machu Picchu as the most beautiful sight he had ever experienced.
We parted ways after that, but met up in La Paz, Bolivia a while later. We traveled Bolivia together, with numerous adventures. He was a great traveling companion, always up for anything. I called it the tour of food. He wanted to try EVERYTHING regardless of what it was, or what it looked like. We would walk through the market, ?Have you tried this? What about this?? Always so curious and talking to anyone about everything. He made the long bus rides tolerable by asking me riddles. He talked non-stop about San Francisco and the Burning Man.
We made plans to meet up in San Francisco when he came back from Peru. He talked of all the great people I was going to meet, all the things we would do. He really loved that city.
Now I feel, as everyone else does, that I was robbed of something so precious. He was a golden soul, full of love and adventure. I know that I am lucky to have met him and have what little time I did. I fill my heart with the good memories of him and think of him with great affection. They may have taken his future away from me, but they cannot take the past. My memories are all that is left, but they are something to cherish. It was a great blessing to have met someone as exceptional as Court. It is a privilege to call him my friend.
Alanna Mason
Canada
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Author:
(top) | Kira Dennison |
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I just have been feeling like I need to write this today. I can never get it
out, it still feels funny to say it, but I want to talk to Court so here it
is....... Today I miss Court so badly it hurts. I can only imagine him right
now snowboarding in the sky - there are no waiting lines and fresh powder every day. I want a hug from him, I want his big cherubic face to look at me and
smile... that massive untainted smile that makes me feel I can do anything.
My life changed the day I met Court. Not only did we have the most sensational of times frolicking like children -- he taught me the most valuable lesson
there is. He taught me to live with fervor. Courts picture is one of the
first things I see every day. That picture reminds me to meet the world each
day and try to do better.
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Author:
(top) | Cary Janks |
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Its taken me a while to write something about Court. What do I know of Court
Demas? You see I did not grow up being friends with Court, I was not
particularly close with him, I never really hung out with him either, I did all of that vicariously through my brother Chris, two years older than me. I
remember him coming over to our house. He was a master on the ping pong table, the only one that could give my dad a run for his money. He would stop by,
even if Chris wasn't around, just to challenge him. The first kid to call my
folks by their first names. And they were cool with that. I remember my dad
saying, "That's one smart kid, you can tell by the way he carries himself, in
his confidence, he must get good grades huh? He's funny." The conversations
we did have were always a casserole of sarcasm, jokes, computer game tactics
and girls. Court seemed to always make the most of the present. Court made me feel important, when to all the other guys in my brother's class, I was "little Janks". I wanted so badly to fit in and hang out with all them because to me
they were so cool, they were the older kids, when Court was around he made me
feel welcome, part of the gang.
As we all got older and moved around and apart, I heard stories of what Court
was up to. Echoes of adventure through friends who had spoken with him last.
New Year's Eve in Africa stories through Travis. California, Texas and
Louisiana stories. I so looked forward to hearing about them from him someday, in some chance meeting at an airport or on the streets of New York or San
Francisco because in all probability that was going to happen. It was just a
matter of time. It seems like there is always going to be enough time.
Looking to the future and planning. Sometimes there isn't. Court has
indirectly taught me a very important lesson that I will try to live by in
keeping his memory close and alive.
I'll catch you next time Court.
Cary Janks
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Author:
(top) | Erika Sato |
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I met Court at RPI, so our paths only crossed for a very short time.
however it does not take much time to come to completely adore such a
wonderful person. I remember going to a jane's addiction concert with
him in Troy, NY, where we played in the mosh pit. I believe later that
night we went to a fraternity party where we did some jello shots. He
made the comment "don't tell my mom i did jello shots!". He had just
come out of a mosh pit and did not want his mom to know he did some
jello shots?! :) it was obvious that he absolutely loved his family. I
also had my first NY city experience with him. We took the train into
the city from his home, and missed the last train back. My feet were
blistered, we had no place to stay, so we hit the after hour clubs and
slept on the subways. He always made sure he was looking out for my
safety. The summer in between RPI and CMU, we stayed in touch. One
weekend I was bored, we were chatting on the phone, when he decided
he'd come up to visit even though I was leaving for California in the
next few days. A few hours later, he showed up, and his car had broken
down right in front of my apartment. He continued to smile, and made
sure I got on my plane "Don't worry about me and my car, you need to go
home!" said he. He always smiled, and his talent for living was so very
inspiring . There are few people who have the level of compassion and
love for friend or stranger. I am so sorry for his passing, it sounds
though that he lived life to its fullest. I am lucky to have had him as
a friend.
Erika
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